Up and down. That's the only similarity between the NICU experience and a roller coaster ride. One of the best parts of a roller coaster ride is the thrilling sensation you get as you're plummeting back toward earth. There is no thrill to the downs in the NICU. Disappointment? Yes. Terror? Sometimes. Joy? Not so much. Someone said the NICU is more like bungee jumping. I've never bungee jumped but I'm sure I'd be completely terrified the first time I went screaming toward earth, were I to ever have the slightest desire to try it.
This is just my long intro to saying that Justice has been put back on the high flow cannula. I can't say I'm entirely surprised. Even though he nursed for 17 minutes last night he bradyed 3 times and his sats kept dropping during the 2 hours I was there. I'm not surprised, but it's still disappointing.
Justice's doctor also wants to sit down and talk with Jake and I about "where to go from here to get this baby home." Those are her words. The other day, she briefly mentioned some surgical option that would enable him to eat. I don't think he needs surgery. I certainly don't want to talk about putting a feeding tube directly in his belly, which is what I fear she may be thinking. I think it's too radical at this point. He doesn't need surgery. He just needs me and unfortunately I can't be there 24/7. If he continues to refuse the bottle I would be completely ok with him coming home with the feeding tube in his nose. Mostly because I know he won't need it for long. He's been doing so well at nursing I know it won't take long to get him to nurse for all his feeds. Which brings up another concern. How is going to do nursing tonight now that he's back on the high flow?
I have no idea what her thoughts are on his oxygen requirements but I think another round of steroids would be pointless since the second round didn't make much of a difference.
In short, I'm ready to have my baby home and be off this ride.
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